Thanks for this version of the document.
I am not sure I will have time to read it all before the dead line :(

I send my first remarks and suggestion reading the CCWG-Draft-Proposal-V10-redline.docx
Maybe you have already discuss some of those issues. Then apologies.

P4 - §3 –  I would highlight the following
These recommendations do not reflect CCWG-Accountability consensus at this point.    

P6 - §16 – The CCWG-Accountability proposes the creation of a formal membership body called the “SO/AC Membership” model.
I suggest to add «  it is the group’s reference option »   
P6 - §16 – The CCWG-Accountability proposes (it is the group’s reference option) the creation of a formal membership body called the “SO/AC Membership” model.
As it is in the same §16 in item 4 about the community powers

P9 - §32 – (and following) - … accountability involves the processes whereby ICANN answers to its stakeholders for the impacts on those stakeholders of ICANN’s decisions, policies and programs. 
I have since a long time a trouble with the use of ICANN in this (and other) sentence. ICANN is all of us (Board/Staff/SO/AC… therefore how ICANN can answer to itself?
Are we thinking about one part of ICANN talking/answering to another part of ICANN?

P19 - §58 – Not sure it is a good idea to have the ICANN bylaws referencing to another document.

P23 - §97 – Seeking and supporting broad, informed participation reflecting the functional, geographic, and cultural diversity of the Internet and its usage at all levels of policy…
 
Thanks for consideration.
All the best
Sébastien Bachollet
+33 6 07 66 89 33
Blog: http://sebastien.bachollet.fr/
Mail: Sébastien Bachollet <sebastien@bachollet.com>

De : Grace Abuhamad <grace.abuhamad@icann.org>
Date : vendredi 1 mai 2015 03:23
À : Accountability Cross Community <accountability-cross-community@icann.org>
Objet : [CCWG-ACCT] V10 DRAFT for your review by 2 May at 01:00 UTC

Dear all, 

Here attached is the CCWG-Accountability Draft Report V10. I have attached a redline and a clean version (in Word and PDF). 

Version 10 incorporates the following: 
  • Changes from the CCWG-Accountability call on Thursday 30 April at 05:00 UTC
  • Edits from legal counsel (Sidley and Adler)
  • Approval from the CWG-Stewardship Chairs/Client Committee regarding incorporation of CWG-Stewardship recommendations
  • Edits from Chairs and Rapporteurs 
Please send your edits, comments, etc to the mailing list by Saturday 2 May 01:00 UTC (24h from now). Staff will incorporate the edits over the weekend so as to release a final version for Public Comment on Monday, 4 May. If possible, edits are appreciate in track changes in the clean version so that they are clearly marked and visible. There will be professional formatting and copyediting done before publication, so we suggest that your time my be best spent by focusing on the substance-related edits. 

Also, please remember to submit your feedback regarding the XPlane graphics by Saturday as well. Adam will send a reminder re: XPlane. 

Almost there!
— Grace 



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