An historic event (sorry, not serious ALAC stuff).
*Dear ALAC and Staff,* *I cannot resist the pleasure of forwarding a proclamation from Buckingham Palace, which I happen to have received as the result of an error.* *Cheer up [?] !* *Jean-Jacques.* *To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II* In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). 2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let M icrosoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' 3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. 4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse. 5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. 6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. 7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it. 8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things youinsist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed, not with ketchup, but with vinegar. 9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer isalso acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. 10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. 11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). 12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries. 13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. 14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776). 15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season. God Save the Queen! ------------------------------ *Ince & Co Singapore LLP in alliance with Incisive Law LLC* 16 Collyer Quay #19-00 Singapore 049318 Tel +65 6538 6660 (Ince) Fax +65 6538 6122 (Ince) Tel +65 6505 0160 (Incisive) Fax +65 6505 0161 (Incisive) incelaw.com<http://incelaw.com?utm_source=footer&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=incelaw%2...> Beijing Dubai Hamburg Hong Kong Le Havre London Monaco Paris Piraeus Shanghai Singapore Ince & Co (UEN 53143911M) has converted to Ince & Co Singapore LLP with effect from 29 April 2011. Ince & Co Singapore LLP (UEN T11LL0794C) is a limited liability partnership with limited liability under the Limited Liability Partnerships Act (Chapter 163A). *Seatrade Asia Maritime Law Award 2011, 2010, 2009 & 2008 Asian Legal Business SE Asia Shipping Law Firm of the Year 2011, 2010, 2009 & 2007 Who's Who Legal Global Shipping and Maritime Law Firm of the Year 2011, 2009 & 2008 * *Incisive Law LLC * incisivelaw.com Incisive Law LLC is a law corporation with limited liability. Company Registration No. 201015337C *Disclaimer:* This email is intended solely for the addressee, is strictly confidential and may also be legally privileged. If you are not the addressee please do not read, print, re-transmit, store or act in reliance on it or any attachments. Instead, please email it back to the sender and then immediately permanently delete it. ------------------------------
Watch it ... my intelligence sources indicate that these guys are armed to the teeth. To deal with that, I'm told that a covert operative operating under the cover name "Piers Morgan" has been sent to create a public diversion. - Evan On 18 January 2013 07:11, JJS <jjs.global@gmail.com> wrote:
*Dear ALAC and Staff,* *I cannot resist the pleasure of forwarding a proclamation from Buckingham Palace, which I happen to have received as the result of an error.* *Cheer up [?] !* *Jean-Jacques.*
*To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II*
In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let M icrosoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things youinsist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed, not with ketchup, but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer isalso acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
------------------------------
*Ince & Co Singapore LLP in alliance with Incisive Law LLC* 16 Collyer Quay #19-00 Singapore 049318
Tel +65 6538 6660 (Ince) Fax +65 6538 6122 (Ince) Tel +65 6505 0160 (Incisive) Fax +65 6505 0161 (Incisive)
incelaw.com< http://incelaw.com?utm_source=footer&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=incelaw%2...
Beijing Dubai Hamburg Hong Kong Le Havre London Monaco Paris Piraeus Shanghai Singapore
Ince & Co (UEN 53143911M) has converted to Ince & Co Singapore LLP with effect from 29 April 2011. Ince & Co Singapore LLP (UEN T11LL0794C) is a limited liability partnership with limited liability under the Limited Liability Partnerships Act (Chapter 163A).
*Seatrade Asia Maritime Law Award 2011, 2010, 2009 & 2008 Asian Legal Business SE Asia Shipping Law Firm of the Year 2011, 2010, 2009 & 2007 Who's Who Legal Global Shipping and Maritime Law Firm of the Year 2011, 2009 & 2008 * *Incisive Law LLC * incisivelaw.com Incisive Law LLC is a law corporation with limited liability. Company Registration No. 201015337C
*Disclaimer:* This email is intended solely for the addressee, is strictly confidential and may also be legally privileged. If you are not the addressee please do not read, print, re-transmit, store or act in reliance on it or any attachments. Instead, please email it back to the sender and then immediately permanently delete it.
------------------------------
_______________________________________________ ALAC mailing list ALAC@atlarge-lists.icann.org https://atlarge-lists.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/alac
At-Large Online: http://www.atlarge.icann.org ALAC Working Wiki: https://community.icann.org/display/atlarge/At-Large+Advisory+Committee+(ALA...)
-- Evan Leibovitch Toronto Canada Em: evan at telly dot org Sk: evanleibovitch Tw: el56
I'm going to resist the temptation to respond to this in detail... I have my great-great grandfather's immigration document. They required him to disavow any loyalty to "any foreign prince, especially Queen Victoria" -----Original Message----- From: alac-bounces@atlarge-lists.icann.org [mailto:alac-bounces@atlarge-lists.icann.org] On Behalf Of JJS Sent: Friday, January 18, 2013 7:11 AM To: ALAC Working List Subject: [ALAC] An historic event (sorry, not serious ALAC stuff). *Dear ALAC and Staff,* *I cannot resist the pleasure of forwarding a proclamation from Buckingham Palace, which I happen to have received as the result of an error.* *Cheer up [?] !* *Jean-Jacques.* *To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II* In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). 2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let M icrosoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' 3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. 4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse. 5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. 6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. 7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it. 8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things youinsist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed, not with ketchup, but with vinegar. 9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer isalso acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. 10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. 11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). 12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries. 13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. 14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776). 15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season. God Save the Queen! ------------------------------ *Ince & Co Singapore LLP in alliance with Incisive Law LLC* 16 Collyer Quay #19-00 Singapore 049318 Tel +65 6538 6660 (Ince) Fax +65 6538 6122 (Ince) Tel +65 6505 0160 (Incisive) Fax +65 6505 0161 (Incisive) incelaw.com<http://incelaw.com?utm_source=footer&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=incelaw%2...> Beijing Dubai Hamburg Hong Kong Le Havre London Monaco Paris Piraeus Shanghai Singapore Ince & Co (UEN 53143911M) has converted to Ince & Co Singapore LLP with effect from 29 April 2011. Ince & Co Singapore LLP (UEN T11LL0794C) is a limited liability partnership with limited liability under the Limited Liability Partnerships Act (Chapter 163A). *Seatrade Asia Maritime Law Award 2011, 2010, 2009 & 2008 Asian Legal Business SE Asia Shipping Law Firm of the Year 2011, 2010, 2009 & 2007 Who's Who Legal Global Shipping and Maritime Law Firm of the Year 2011, 2009 & 2008 * *Incisive Law LLC * incisivelaw.com Incisive Law LLC is a law corporation with limited liability. Company Registration No. 201015337C *Disclaimer:* This email is intended solely for the addressee, is strictly confidential and may also be legally privileged. If you are not the addressee please do not read, print, re-transmit, store or act in reliance on it or any attachments. Instead, please email it back to the sender and then immediately permanently delete it. ------------------------------
hmmm, really? On 18 Jan 2013, at 07:11, JJS wrote:
*Dear ALAC and Staff,* *I cannot resist the pleasure of forwarding a proclamation from Buckingham Palace, which I happen to have received as the result of an error.* *Cheer up [?] !* *Jean-Jacques.*
*To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II*
In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let M icrosoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things youinsist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed, not with ketchup, but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer isalso acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
------------------------------
*Ince & Co Singapore LLP in alliance with Incisive Law LLC* 16 Collyer Quay #19-00 Singapore 049318
Tel +65 6538 6660 (Ince) Fax +65 6538 6122 (Ince) Tel +65 6505 0160 (Incisive) Fax +65 6505 0161 (Incisive)
incelaw.com<http://incelaw.com?utm_source=footer&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=incelaw%2...> Beijing Dubai Hamburg Hong Kong Le Havre London Monaco Paris Piraeus Shanghai Singapore
Ince & Co (UEN 53143911M) has converted to Ince & Co Singapore LLP with effect from 29 April 2011. Ince & Co Singapore LLP (UEN T11LL0794C) is a limited liability partnership with limited liability under the Limited Liability Partnerships Act (Chapter 163A).
*Seatrade Asia Maritime Law Award 2011, 2010, 2009 & 2008 Asian Legal Business SE Asia Shipping Law Firm of the Year 2011, 2010, 2009 & 2007 Who's Who Legal Global Shipping and Maritime Law Firm of the Year 2011, 2009 & 2008 * *Incisive Law LLC * incisivelaw.com Incisive Law LLC is a law corporation with limited liability. Company Registration No. 201015337C
*Disclaimer:* This email is intended solely for the addressee, is strictly confidential and may also be legally privileged. If you are not the addressee please do not read, print, re-transmit, store or act in reliance on it or any attachments. Instead, please email it back to the sender and then immediately permanently delete it.
------------------------------ _______________________________________________ ALAC mailing list ALAC@atlarge-lists.icann.org https://atlarge-lists.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/alac
At-Large Online: http://www.atlarge.icann.org ALAC Working Wiki: https://community.icann.org/display/atlarge/At-Large+Advisory+Committee+(ALA...)
* Dear All, IMPORTANT: please delete all references to the person & company the message may have originated from (Ince). Thank you.* *Jean-Jacques. * 2013/1/19 Avri Doria <avri@acm.org>
hmmm,
really?
On 18 Jan 2013, at 07:11, JJS wrote:
see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
------------------------------
*Ince & Co Singapore LLP in alliance with Incisive Law LLC* 16 Collyer Quay #19-00 Singapore 049318
Tel +65 6538 6660 (Ince) Fax +65 6538 6122 (Ince) Tel +65 6505 0160 (Incisive) Fax +65 6505 0161 (Incisive)
incelaw.com< http://incelaw.com?utm_source=footer&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=incelaw%2...
Beijing Dubai Hamburg Hong Kong Le Havre London Monaco Paris Piraeus Shanghai Singapore
Ince & Co (UEN 53143911M) has converted to Ince & Co Singapore LLP with effect from 29 April 2011. Ince & Co Singapore LLP (UEN T11LL0794C) is a limited liability partnership with limited liability under the Limited Liability Partnerships Act (Chapter 163A).
*Seatrade Asia Maritime Law Award 2011, 2010, 2009 & 2008 Asian Legal Business SE Asia Shipping Law Firm of the Year 2011, 2010, 2009 & 2007 Who's Who Legal Global Shipping and Maritime Law Firm of the Year 2011, 2009 & 2008 * *Incisive Law LLC * incisivelaw.com Incisive Law LLC is a law corporation with limited liability. Company Registration No. 201015337C
*Disclaimer:* This email is intended solely for the addressee, is strictly confidential and may also be legally privileged. If you are not the addressee please do not read, print, re-transmit, store or act in reliance on it or any attachments. Instead, please email it back to the sender and then immediately permanently delete it.
------------------------------ _______________________________________________ ALAC mailing list ALAC@atlarge-lists.icann.org https://atlarge-lists.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/alac
At-Large Online: http://www.atlarge.icann.org ALAC Working Wiki: https://community.icann.org/display/atlarge/At-Large+Advisory+Committee+(ALA...)
*Dear ALAC and Staff,* *I cannot resist the pleasure of forwarding a proclamation from Buckingham Palace, which I happen to have received as the result of an error.* *Cheer up [?] !* *Jean-Jacques.*
*To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II*
In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let M icrosoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things youinsist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed, not with ketchup, but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer isalso acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth
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participants (4)
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Avri Doria -
Evan Leibovitch -
Garth Bruen -
JJS