Dear Brian,

as I explained in my earlier message, I was involved in a car accident yesterday, with no injury but which took most of my time to finalise my comments. I do apologise. I sent you an incomplete review of the document an hour ago. All in all, I managed to re-read the whole document again including it's 2nd half & have made a few more observations, all included in the attached file.

On the whole, I am pleased with the *substance* of the draft. I have also read the *final* copy which you have sent to Larisa, Charla & Alice. My over-arching concern, which I did express in DC but which does not appear to have been caught, whilst I read the final master, is that the *new recommendations* which have come as a result of ATRT1 recommendation reviews are not clearly identifiable.

Also, headers for the ATRT1 recommendations are inconsistent, sometimes called ATRT1 recommendation X, sometimes called "Recommendation X". And then some headers, even in the final copy, say "Assessment of ATRT1 Recommendation 18, 19, 22" and another one "Assessment of ATRT2 Recommendation... etc." That's probably erroneous... and this makes for confusing reading.

I hope that Larisa & her Team will be able to fix this.

Kind regards,

Olivier


On 10/10/2013 23:56, Brian Cute wrote:
Review Team,

Attached is the latest draft of the Report and Recommendations.  Please carefully note the following:

1.  Provide only SUBSTANTIVE AND CRITICAL edits you may have on the SUBSTANCE of the draft within 24 hours, or by 10:00p.m. UTC tomorrow.

2.  Ignore edits concerning numbering, missing citations, spelling etc.  Paul and I will continue over the next 24 hours to clean up the document so clean, correctly numbered version will go out for public comment.  We will take any substantive and critical edits provided by 10:00p.m. UTC tomorrow and work them into the document.  Our plan is to send the document to ICANN staff by 11:00p.m. UTC tomorrow to begin the translation process.

3.  The Report will indicate that it is a draft that is subject to change based on Community input and continuing assessment by ATRT2 before the Final Report and Recommendations issue.

Thanks to all.

Regards,
Brian


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-- 
Olivier MJ Crépin-Leblond, PhD
http://www.gih.com/ocl.html