Marilyn and those anonymous members who helped on this,
it is certainly a good idea to update the BC member recruitment materials.
Key updates are needed on headline policy.
I note the previous version was 2 pages long and contained 948 words.
The proposed new version is 7 pages long and contains 1635 words.
Maybe this is why Berry proposed an executive summary.
 
Before offering any edits, it may be useful to step back a little a think what this document is for.
Past feedback from potential and leaving members has been petty consistent.
"ICANN is too remote to my immediate business needs" "ICANN is too time consuming to follow".
These are the barrier our words must overcome.
 
Anyone considering joining is in the first instance directed to the Join us section of our web site.
The text of the Join Us section should be available as now in a form that can be e-mailed or printed.
But whatever the channel of communication, its objective is the same:
a) it should be in one digestible bite a compelling reason to join
b) It should make them interested to learn more by either exploring other pages of the web site or asking questions of those recruiting them.
 
For me what it should not do is try to explain the ICANN process or even ICANN policy in any detail. That must come later after the potential member has made the connection between ICANN output and relevance to their business.
 
So lets ask ourselves does this 7 page document meet these objectives?
 
Philip