Hi Niels,

Tx you for the continuing discussion. But still some confusion. For example, the Rights Protection Mechanism WG is not also reviewing the curative rights protection mechanisms for IGO and INGO or protection of IGO and INGO identifiers in all gTLDs. These are Working Groups of their own. (Way too much work for one group!)

Might I suggest, and keeping in mind the suggestion of Marilia, that the first "Rights Protection Mechanism WG" (over DNSSEC) delete "WG" and include:

Hi all,

Based on the previous comments, and new version attached. Looking
forward to your comments.

Best,

Niels

PS Thanks again Giulia for the great job and quick turnaround!

Niels ten Oever
Head of Digital

Article 19
www.article19.org

PGP fingerprint    8D9F C567 BEE4 A431 56C4
                   678B 08B5 A0F2 636D 68E9

On 06/14/2016 10:27 AM, Niels ten Oever wrote:

Thanks Marilia,

This is great, a quick repsonse inline:

On 06/10/2016 04:11 PM, Marilia Maciel wrote:

Hi Niels and all, 

Congratulations to Niels and the team working on the visualisation. It
is a great work and I find the infographic extremely informative. I have
just a few observations:

- The line that goes from the UDHR to second generation and then to
particular instruments is not clear, because some of the instruments,
like the ICCPR are part of the first generation of HR, while the ICESCR
is indeed document that consolidates second generation rights. We need a
different breakout if we want to speak of the generations. 

This is a big mistake of mine. Am very happy you caught it.

Perhaps we could do this differently, because I am not sure how useful
it is to differentiate between different generations of rights.

- On the human rights principles section, maybe it would be useful to
mention the distinction from the responsibility to protect and respect,
which is something mentioned in several occasions in our discussions in
ICANN. 

Based on this and the previous remark I made a quick sketch, let me know
what you think (attached)

- Glossary: a) In INGOs there is a space missing and a typo in the word
organisation. 

Giulia (cc), can you take this up?

b) Add " DANE"  to the glossary. 

DANE: DNS-based Authentication of Named Entities

c) Put the glossary in 
alphabetic order.

Will do

- FoE stream: --> new gTLD program --> new gTLD subsequent round (WG).
The WG is looking at a wide scope of issues, not only FoE and the title
of the WG (new gTLD subsequent round) in column 3 is not explanatory of
any particular FoE issue. 

Let's change 'New gTLD programme' (in all instances) into 'New gTLD
subsequent procedures WG', and then drop the latter from the third column.

- A suggestion came from CoE in the last ICANN meeting that we should
rearrange the order in which we list the rights, maybe mirroring the
order that they appear in the UDHR. I think it is a valuable suggestion.
In any case, I would not start the list with due process, maybe it is
good to start with a human right that is more widely " accepted" and
understood in the ICANN space. 

OK, let's do the order of the second column like this:

Right to Privacy (add: Right to)
Right to Freedom of Association (add: Right to)
Economic, social and cultural rights
Right to Freedom of expession (add: Right to)
Right to Security
Participation, includion, equality and non-discrimination
Due process

- Some of the ICANN policies of processes are actually active WGs. When
this is the case, it would be good to indicate that clearly ex: new gTLD
subsequent procedures WG, Rights protection mechanisms in all gTLDs WG,
etc...

Agreed, let's add WG to these specific ones:


Rights Protection Mechanism WG
New gTLD subsequent procedures WG

Reacting to Kathy's suggestion, I believe we should strictly follow the
name of the policy or WG we are talking about. So, yes, if they have
"Review"  in the title, I would retain this word. But I would not add
words like "balanced" if they are not in the official title. 

I hope it adresses Kathy's concern if we add WG, so that it is clear we
use the official terms.

I do share Kathy's concern about the naming of some WGs, but I don;t
think that is something we should address in this graph.

We can change:

Curative Rights protection for IGOs / INGOs

into:

Review of curative rights protections in IGO/INGOs in gTLDs

Once again, great job and looking forward to the discussion on the
visualisation in Helsinki!

Thanks again,

Niels

Best wishes,
Marilia

On Fri, Jun 10, 2016 at 1:48 PM, Kathy Kleiman <kathy@kathykleiman.com
<mailto:kathy@kathykleiman.com>> wrote:

    Hi Niels and All,

    The Rights Protection Mechanism listing seem a little more directive
    than the other phrases -- and could be read to urge specific
    positions rather than just listing the ICANN proceedings that are
    looking at the issues.  Can we be a bit more neutral in our
    phrasing? I would recommend:

    - Review of appropriate protections for IGOs/INGOs in gTLDs

    - Review of balanced curative rights protections in IGO/INGOs in gTLDs

    - Review of all rights protection mechanisms currently in gTLDs

    - Review of balanced rights protection mechanisms for future new
    gTLD rounds

    This will avoid misinterpretation... tx you!
    Best regards, Kathy

    On 6/7/2016 9:49 AM, Niels ten Oever wrote:

    Dear all,

    I have integrated your comments and suggestions as well as I could and I
    think we have a very nice info-graphic right now that we can present in
    Helsinki.

    So I would like to do a last call to see whether you all can live with this.

    Of course this will remain a working document, but it would be great if
    we can show this in Helsinki as work of the CCWP HR.

    Looking forward to hear your comments, questions and/or suggestions.

    Best,

    Niels


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