HI Donna
Just a few suggestions :
Missing the word "are" here on page 4:
"Any issues identified during this review that (are) out of scope, but
relevant for the proper functioning of the CSC will be captured"
Regarding the SLE change text, maybe just add "to be referenced in the charter" so that it is clear that the charter would be modified to encompass the new procedure:
"The Charter makes provision for the CSC or PTI to request a review or change to
service level targets. In addition, any change to an SLE would also require a
change to the IANA Naming Function Contract to be agreed by PTI and ICANN.
The CSC has developed a SLE change procedure (to be referenced in the charter) for consideration as part of this review."
Or just mention it if that is too wordy.
Elaine