Hello all, I will try to give you my comments. Not an easy task. A document with line numbers would have been useful. Page 1 Use of different terms for the same idea - questions & issues vs concerns §1 - there were some questions and issues that needed §5 - ToR team would like to address those concerns that §2 - are we "representatives of ATRT3"? §3 - testing? ?A subset keeping in mind the global picture? But maybe in contradiction with P4 Purpose §2 "It is not the role of the PHR to consider or make recommendations with respect to the purpose or structure of the ICANN SOs, ACs, the NomCom, ICANN org or the Board." §4 - "It should be noted that nothing in the ATRT3 recommendations" Add ?and Board comments? Comment 1 "including any evaluation and measurement of Continuous Improvement Programs" ?Why any? Comment 2 "ICANN’s structures could obtain independent contractors to review their continuous improvement efforts if so desired." Not sure it was the idea. The review is to be done by the HR But SO/AC… can, if they went, can keep the way Organizational Reviews were done (as a CIP). Page 2 Comment 3 "pilot will not be conducting any formal evaluations" Why not? With the Organizational Reviews and their implementation? Comment 4 Maybe add ?No other SR in //? Page 4 Purpose §a) "Organizational Reviews" ==> ?CIPs? "on-going work streams" ?How the PHR will know what are the work stream at the moment of the HR? §2 ?Not sure I understand this sentence (and I agree with)? "It is not the role of the PHR to consider or make recommendations with respect to the purpose or structure of the ICANN SOs, ACs, the NomCom, ICANN org or the Board." ?Possible contradiction with P1 §3 "testing" §3 And particularly regarding the "effectiveness of this review" ?Taking into account the previous §? Page 5 §Deliverable 1 ?and the Board? §Deliverable 3 ?All the "review"s are "future" "Guidelines for the [future] review of the Continuous" ?But if we want to have future, I suggest "Guidelines for the review of the [future] Continuous"? §Deliverable 5 "The [possible] scope of future Holistic Reviews" §Deliverable 7 "Methodology [and timeline] for gathering" §Deliverable 8 "coming from regularised periodic Holistic Reviews" ?coming from [Bylaws mandated] periodic Holistic Reviews? §2 "Please note that numbering of the deliverables does not mean they have to be developed in that particular order." ?Add [Nor they are in order of importance]? Page 6 Closure... ?Add in the bullet points [collaboration withSO/AC/NC and the Board]? Guiding P… §c) ?Add [and tested by ATR3]? "Consistency" vs "extent possible follow" (P7 in Decision-making and repeated in Outreach) §d) "as part of the Holistic Review pilot." ?as part of the [Pilot] Holistic Review (pilot).? Page 7 Operating P… §2. ?Role of the Board liaison (or members)? §4. ?A lot of hurdles? §5. ?It I not an OP for the PHR? Outreach "Holistic Review Pilot Team" ?Pilot Holistic Review Team? Page 8 §Inter… "Between or among groups." ?Among? END - END - Thanks for your consideration. Talk to you latter today (for me). All the best SeB Sébastien Bachollet +33 6 07 66 89 33 sebicann@bachollet.fr @SebBach EURALO Chair

Le 12 juil. 2023 à 02:23, Jason Kean <jason.kean@icann.org> a écrit :

The below note is sent on behalf of the ToR Team Leads:

Hello all,

We are pleased to inform you that the ToR Team leadership has completed its latest revision of the ToR document based on previous plenary discussions and comments provided within the document. To ensure that this document makes it to the OEC members in advance of their July meeting, the ToR Team Leads are closing the Google document to further comments/suggestions and ask that all comments be provided via the email list. The latest version of the ToR can be found attached to this email and accessed here on the ToR Team wiki page <https://community.icann.org/display/atrt/Holistic+Review+Pilot+Project> (link to be posted 12 July). Any substantive changes, comments or proposed edits so received will be discussed during the plenary call before final sign off on Thursday 13 July at 21:00 UTC.

Best, ToR Team Leads



_______________________________________________ holistic-review-TOR mailing list holistic-review-TOR@icann.org <mailto:holistic-review-TOR@icann.org> https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/holistic-review-tor

_______________________________________________ By submitting your personal data, you consent to the processing of your personal data for purposes of subscribing to this mailing list accordance with the ICANN Privacy Policy (https://www.icann.org/privacy/policy) and the website Terms of Service (https://www.icann.org/privacy/tos). You can visit the Mailman link above to change your membership status or configuration, including unsubscribing, setting digest-style delivery or disabling delivery altogether (e.g., for a vacation), and so on.