My opinions regarding Kavouss’s proposed changes:

Would prefer to keep “light” in there.

OK to remove the word “only” from the paragraph on Comments

OK to replace “direct” with “forward”

OK to replace “encourages” with “urges”  

Milton L Mueller

Laura J and L. Douglas Meredith Professor

Syracuse University School of Information Studies

http://faculty.ischool.syr.edu/mueller/

From: internal-cg-bounces@icann.org [mailto:internal-cg-bounces@icann.org] On Behalf Of Martin Boyle
Sent: Friday, August 29, 2014 8:46 AM
To: Kavouss Arasteh; Daniel Karrenberg
Cc: Coordination Group
Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] RFP - publishable draft?

Thanks Alissa for your work on this.  I’m sure we could continue word-smithing this for a long time, and I’m happy to go.

Kavouss’s comment on light:  I like the term as it reminds everyone that we are not planning to play the autocrats.  But if non-native English speakers find the meaning obscure I’m ok without. 

Cheers

Martin

From: internal-cg-bounces@icann.org [mailto:internal-cg-bounces@icann.org] On Behalf Of Kavouss Arasteh
Sent: 29 August 2014 13:32
To: Daniel Karrenberg
Cc: Coordination Group
Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] RFP - publishable draft?

Dear Alissa,

Dear All,

I suggest some small amendments to make various parts of the text consistent with each other

See attachment

Kavouss  the l

2014-08-29 13:37 GMT+02:00 Daniel Karrenberg <daniel.karrenberg@ripe.net>:

On 28.08.14 23:36 , Alissa Cooper wrote:
> ...

>
> Are there any objections to publishing this as a draft (and having the
> secretariat host it on our web site and make an announcement about its
> existence) by Sept 1?

I support publishing this as a daft with Elise's corrections.

Daniel


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