How about ending with: This is your opportunity to provide input to the RDS-WHOIS2 Review Team prior to the finalization of their Draft Report.

That emphasizes what stage we are at and supports our request to be removed from the Public Comment.

Alan

At 29/05/2018 02:06 AM, Cathrin.BAUER-BULST@ec.europa.eu wrote:

Dear all,
 
Some small edits proposed in the text below (in bold and red) to clarify 1) the "this" in the second sentence and 2) that this engagement session is one opportunity to provide feedback (i.e., there will be more) just to avoid misunderstanding.
 
All best
Cathrin
 
From: RDS-WHOIS2-RT [ mailto:rds-whois2-rt-bounces@icann.org] On Behalf Of Jean-Baptiste Deroulez
Sent: Monday, May 28, 2018 10:15 PM
To: RDS WHOIS2-RT List
Subject: [RDS-WHOIS2-RT] REVIEW NEEDED: ICANN62 Engagement Session Description
 
Dear Review Team members,
 
Following the action item identified today on plenary call #28, please review the below updated ICANN62 engagement session description and confirm by tomorrow, Tuesday 29 May 2018 23:59 UTC whether you have any edits/comments.
 
Join a discussion with the Registration Directory Service Review team (RDS-WHOIS2).
 
The Registration Directory Service Review, formerly known as "WHOIS" (RDS-WHOIS2) is mandated by the ICANN Bylaws., thisThe scope of its work includes assessing how the recommendations of the first WHOIS Review were carried out, as well as assessing the effectiveness of the gTLD registry directory service and whether its implementation meets the legitimate needs of law enforcement, promoting consumer trust and safeguarding registrant data. The RDS-WHOIS2 Review Team will update the community on its findings to date and seek input on its findings as well as address any questions pertaining to its scope and work plan. This is your one opportunity for you to provide input into the RDS-WHOIS2 work.
 
For more information, please visit the RDS-WHOIS2 wiki https://community.icann.org/display/WHO/RDS-WHOIS2+Review/.
 
Learn more about opportunities to participate in RDS-WHOIS2 work at: https://community.icann.org/display/WHO/Observers.
 
 
In absence of comments/edits, the ICANN62 engagement session description will be considered approved.
 
Kind regards,
 
Jean-Baptiste

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