Hi,

> In the past, reviewing the presentation prior to the meeting has been an RSSAC activity and the presentation has changed very little. For ICANN 82, the RSSAC Admin Committee thought it would be good to get feedback from the Caucus on this presentation. Especially since a good number of the people on this list have seen this presentation at least once. Are there things you would change about it?

A few suggestions:

Page 5:

Many (most?) non-technical folks will:
* probably associate the word “object” with a physical thing.  Why not “The system that translates a name into different types of information associated with that name”?
* hear the words "distributed, loosely coherent, scalable, dynamic database” as the equivalent of what technical folks would describe as "terminal noise.” Is that sentence useful?

Page 8:
* Non-technical folks may interpret “TLD servers” as something other than the name servers for the TLDs, perhaps "Root servers only provide information about themselves and top-level-domain (TLD) nameservers”?
* Non-technical folks may interpret “records” to be something other than attributes associated with a name, perhaps “TLD information returned by root name servers have TTLs of one or two days”?

Page 9:
* I’m a bit unclear as to why DOH/DOT are mentioned here, since they’re unrelated to the root servers.

Page 11:
First bullet:
* Non-technical folks may interpret “all the information necessary to contact the TLDs” to mean telephone numbers, email addresses, etc.  Perhaps "It has no parent and contains only the names and addresses of the TLDs name servers”? (I know it’s not strictly accurate, but the details probably aren’t important to the How It Works crowd).  Alternatively, “It has no parent and contains only the information necessary to create secure delegation of authority to the TLDs” (might be too technical)?

Second bullet:
* Perhaps use “publish” instead of serve?

Third bullet:
* Perhaps "An organization responsible for running a name server on one of the IPv4/IPv6 pairs of addresses identified as a root name server in the root zone”?

Fourth bullet:
* Perhaps “An RSO-operated name server located at one point in the Internet that responds to DNS queries sent to that RSO’s IPv4 or IPv6 address.”?

Page 12:
Root Zone first bullet:
* Saying “the starting point” is likely to be confusing. Perhaps “The collection of TLDs and their name servers and the addresses of those name servers”?

Root Zone third bullet:
* Perhaps “Compiled, DNSSEC-signed, and made available by the Root Zone Maintainer to all root server operators.”?

Root Zone last bullet:
* Perhaps “The information the root name servers provide in response to DNS queries to root server IP addresses”?

Perhaps add a bullet saying something like “How the root zone is managed discussed in RZERC”?

Root Server System second bullet:
* Wrong column? It’s the root zone that’s served, not the root server system.  Perhaps "Currently implemented via 13 IPv4 and 13 IPv6 addresses, from over 1800 instances.”

Root Server System third bullet:
* Perhaps: "Purely technical role to publish what is created, signed, and made available by the RZM.”?

Root Server System fourth bullet:
* This gets philosophical.  I could be wrong, but I’m unsure there is consensus on that particular statement, e.g., do all 13 RSOs agree that the RSS as a whole is their responsibility and not that their RSO is their responsibility? Perhaps “A voluntary collaboration of the 13 RSOs”?

Perhaps add a bullet saying something like “How the root server system is managed will be discussed in the RSS-GS”?

Page 15:
* I thought Verisign got rid of the capital ’S’?
* ‘G’ should probably be “US DOD Defense Information Systems Agency"?

Page 36:
* As I understood it, one of the prime drivers for RSS governance is to improve accountability.  There is no mention of this.

Regards,
-drc

>
> https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1arBlU1OKHvx2ju-Sgw5lA-rxpmiSsURtnLL4VxTbDlI/
>
> It's hard to annotate a Google presentation in line. If you would like to propose edits please specify the slide number and precisely what you would change in an email to this mailing list.
>
> This review will close on January 28th. After that I'll develop a new version based on the comments received.
>
> Thanks,
> Andrew_______________________________________________
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