Nigel,

The examples are part of the verbatim quote from the second draft, so we can't change them at this point.

Hopefully our next draft will be considerably more advanced than this.

We should try to understand what the point of the "will be committed to" language was -- if there was a point.  Maybe someone can enlighten us.  It might be an echo of language being imported from the Affirmation of Commitments, but I don't recall if that's how it developed or what it was supposed to do.

Greg

P.S. Thanks!

On Tue, Oct 13, 2015 at 3:43 AM, Nigel Roberts <nigel@channelisles.net> wrote:
PS: This is a great effort in drawing our sometimes diverse discussion together. Good job!


On 13/10/15 08:01, Greg Shatan wrote:
All,

Here is the completed, revised version of the Human Rights PC2 Analysis.  I
look forward to talking with you soon.

Note to members of WP4:  I cut the discussion of the two alternative
formulations of the bylaw, which we essentially rejected, and each of which
had very limited support in the public comments, but the full discussion
remains in the Google Docs version so we can use it in another document.

Note also that I went through the survey results carefully (twice) and came
up with slightly different results than Leon, but nothing that changes the
shape of the results too significantly.

Greg

On Mon, Oct 12, 2015 at 11:15 PM, León Felipe Sánchez Ambía <
leonfelipe@sanchez.mx> wrote:

Dear all,

I want to thank you all for the excellent work carried in this second
public comment analysis draft. Although I remained silent I followed the
discussion closely and tried to capture it in some minor additions I made
to this new version of our draft to be submitted to the CCWG for review.

I specially thank Nigel, Niels, Tatiana, Greg, Avri, Ellen, Kavouss, David
and Mathew for their work and feedback to reach this document.

I encourage you to please review this version which will be submitted as
our deliverable to the CCWG and I also remind you that should there be the
need to make any further adjustments, we can do so anytime before having to
submit a final version to be included in the next version of the CCWG’s
draft proposal.

Attached is a word and PDF version of this latest draft.

Best regards,



León


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