Greg

On Thursday, November 5, 2015, Nigel Roberts <nigel@channelisles.net> wrote:

I have to say that I am rather dissatisfied with this camel.

I see it translates as

"Within its mission and in its operations, ICANN will respect internationally recognized human rights. But really it won't."

Thus qualifer, which will eviscerate any commitment whatsoever to basic standards of respect for human rights in a privatised ICANN, means that ICANN is not worthy of transition until a meaningful committment is produced.

On 03/11/15 13:58, McAuley, David wrote:

I also want to thank Tatiana, Greg, Niels, Leon, and Matthew for this.

I had a long-planned family event and did not see this final version
until our CCWG call(1am my time) and so I probably surprised you by
asking for a tweak. Sorry to take you by surprise like that.

Here is the paragraph I sought a tweak on:

/Within its mission and in its operations, ICANN will respect
internationally recognized human rights. This commitment does not in any
way create an obligation for ICANN, or any entity having a relationship
with ICANN, to protect or enforce human rights. In particular, this does
not create any obligation for ICANN to respond to or consider any
complaint, request or demand seeking the enforcement of human rights by
ICANN./

//

My concern was that the phrase */or any entity having a relationship
with ICANN* / in the second sentence did not appear in the third before
the words “/to respond”/.

Yes, that would add to the “clunkiness” of the wording but the concern
(the usual suspect) is that complainants lawyers will pick that
difference apart to the great detriment of those having a relationship
with ICANN. And that is why I ask for the change – and am glad our
outside counsel will have a go at this in the end.

Again, many thanks all.

David McAuley

*From:*wp4-bounces@icann.org [mailto:wp4-bounces@icann.org] *On Behalf
Of *León Felipe Sánchez Ambía
*Sent:* Monday, November 02, 2015 8:51 PM
*To:* Greg Shatan
*Cc:* acct-staff@icann.org; wp4@icann.org
*Subject:* Re: [Wp4] WP4 Deliverable: Elaborating an ICANN Commitment to
Human RIghts

Dear Greg,

Thank you, Tatiana, Niels, Matthew and David for this new document. I
think it's a great document that, from my perspective, appropriately
reflects the work done in our WP4 and suggests concrete solutions and
steps forward.

Will wait for others to comment but I would say it's ok to be delivered
and shared with the larger CCWG.

Thanks to all in the WP. You have all made an outstanding job!

Kind regards ,

León

El 02/11/2015, a las 7:36 p.m., Greg Shatan <gregshatanipc@gmail.com
<mailto:gregshatanipc@gmail.com>> escribió:

All:

Attached are Word and PDF versions of a proposed final draft of the
deliverable of WP4, which is intended to become part of the next
Report of the CCWG.

Niels and Tatiana and Matt went through the document after our call
and edited and resolved the proposed changes in the document. I
followed with further edits and formatting work. I believe that all
of us sought to be neutral /rapporteurs/ carrying out the sense of
today's call and the work of our group.

I felt that we needed a section which specifically set out the
process and results of our discussions on refining the language of
the Bylaw, rather than leaving this to our recommendations in the
final section of the document. Therefore, I took the liberty of
creating such a section, and hope that you will find that this
section reflects our work.

This document also remains available on Google Drive.

I look forward to any comments.

Best regards,

Greg

<Elaborating an ICANN Commitment to Human Rights.docx>

<Elaborating an ICANN Commitment to Human Rights.pdf>

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