Dear all, I have adjusted the latest version and taken on board Martin’s remarks. In addition to Martin’s note about the monthly meetings (# 7 on his list, monthly meetings remain to be required), I want to point out to the text in the report itself: 4.3.8 Monthly meeting requirement The RT and the CSC discussed whether the monthly meeting requirement should be maintained as we recognized that a considerable amount of the work undertaken by the CSC in the first 12 months of its existences was related to developing its own operating procedures and other documentation, such as the Remedial Action Plan, and looking forward there may not be a need to meet so frequently. The CSC recommended that the monthly meeting requirement remain in place for the immediate future; however as the work of the CSC becomes more routine, and subject to all CSC members being in agreement, the CSC might carry out its monthly assessment and discuss and prepare the report of their findings without the need for a meeting. May I suggest to change the current text: The CSC shall meet at least once every month via teleconference at a time and date agreed upon members of the CSC. To: The CSC will meet as frequently and in a manner as needed and agreed upon by the members of the CSC to ensure the assessment of the monthly performance reports by the IANA Function Operator and the monthly publication of the CSC findings. Please advise if you want to change the text. Kind regards, Bart From: Martin Boyle <martin.boyle.hertford@ntlworld.com> Date: Monday 9 April 2018 at 16:22 To: Bart Boswinkel <bart.boswinkel@icann.org>, "'Austin, Donna'" <Donna.Austin@team.neustar> Cc: "CSC-review@icann.org" <CSC-review@icann.org> Subject: RE: [CSC-Review] [Ext] Re: [EXTERNAL] Final version Initial report Hi all, I’ve gone through Bart’s latest draft. Key issues for me are: There will need to be some cleaning up if the word version sees the light of day as it does have hidden revision marks. Contents list should be consistent with the section headings in the report (I would prefer us to use the heading in the body of the report!). Completed, headings of report Executive summary paragraph 3: “… which included discussions with the CSC, the outgoing President of Public Technical Identifiers (PTI), the independent members of the PTI Board and the direct customers of the IANA Naming Functions.” Completed 4.3.2 paragraph 5: “… This has proved to be a factor contributing to the success of the CSC.” Completed Heading 5 does not need hyphens and add “which are” after observations. Completed Section 7, Membership Selection Process paragraph 4 (“A representative of….”): Council need to be in the plural as it refers to both the ccNSO and GNSO. Completed Meetings: Just to note that the first paragraph requires there to be a charter amendment before the CSC can move to dropping meetings when there is nothing to discuss. Meetings there needs to be a space between the last two paragraphs. Completed That’s it from me Martin From: CSC-Review <csc-review-bounces@icann.org> On Behalf Of Bart Boswinkel Sent: 09 April 2018 12:08 To: Austin, Donna <Donna.Austin@team.neustar> Cc: CSC-review@icann.org Subject: Re: [CSC-Review] [Ext] Re: [EXTERNAL] Final version Initial report Donna, All, Please find included the WORD version of the Initial Report. This version is updated to take in all suggestions Donna made ( see below). In addition please find included the language for posting and seeking feed-back from the broader community. As you will see I will ask to open the public comment 10 April, and run it until Friday 1 June, and have the staff summary available at or around 8 June 2018. Unless ther are major hick-ups, this would allow you to submit the final report at or around 15 June 2018, in time for adoption at the Panama meeting. Please note you are scheduled for the upcoming CSC call ( Monday 16 April, 20.00 UTC). Kind regards, Bart Follow @ccNSO on Twitter: https://twitter.com/ccNSO[twitter.com] Follow the ccNSO on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ccnso/[facebook.com] http://ccnso.icann.org[ccnso.icann.org] -- From: "Austin, Donna" <Donna.Austin@team.neustar> Date: Monday 9 April 2018 at 00:35 To: Bart Boswinkel <bart.boswinkel@icann.org> Cc: "CSC-review@icann.org" <CSC-review@icann.org> Subject: [Ext] Re: [EXTERNAL] [CSC-Review] Final version Initial report Hi Bart This looks great, thank you. I found a couple of minor things and will note them here as the word doc was only the report and nothing else. Executive Summary Need an extra line between paras 5 and 6 Under 4.3.2 Para 4, second sentence: limited mandate HAS made it ... Para 7, need a period between ... IANA Functions Operator and The Proposed Amended Charter Scope of Responsibilities Para 6, after Remedial Action Procedures please put (RAP). And that’s all I have. I would like to see the language for the posting page before it goes up if that’s possible. Thanks again Bart Donna Sent from my iPhone On Apr 6, 2018, at 9:51 AM, Bart Boswinkel <bart.boswinkel@icann.org> wrote: Dear all, Please find included the (draft) final version of the initial report. If no comments by Monday COB CET I will use this version for publication. Unfortunately the PDF version does not show the deleted sections. Finally I noticed that the following sentence was still included in the version Donna circulated under the review section: The CSC or the IANA Functions Operator can request a review or change to service levels. Any proposed changes to service levels as a result of the review must be agreed to by the ccNSO and GNSO. I deleted it as it superfluous given the new language under scope of responsibilities. Kind regards, Bart <Initial Report CSC Charter Review Team.pdf> <Initial Report CSC Charter Review Team.docx> _______________________________________________ CSC-Review mailing list CSC-Review@icann.org https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/csc-review