again, thanks to heidi and scott. euralo flyer: agree with wolf's comments! also, euralo member organisations should be described not named. agree with heike's comments except one: i would not replace civil rights by human rights. if we have a part "what others say about us" these others should be others and not members of EURALO (like christopher and olivier) best greetings annette
-----Ursprüngliche Nachricht----- Von: "Adam Peake" <ajp@glocom.ac.jp> Gesendet: 21.08.09 13:18:14 An: "euro-board@atlarge-lists.icann.org" <euro-board@atlarge-lists.icann.org> CC: Scott Pinzon <scott.pinzon@icann.org> Betreff: Re: [Euro-board] [EURO-Discuss] EURALO flyer
Heidi, Scott, thanks very much for this.
I agree with Wolf's comments. Also wondered about influence and influencing used in the first and second short paragraphs. Would it read more comfortably if affect/affecting replaced one of them? (or some word to replace one of the influences, affecting is all I can think of!)
Thanks,
Adam
At 12:55 PM +0200 8/21/09, Wolf Ludwig wrote:
Dear, Heidi, Dessi and all,
the message has come through on the EURALO list (and the board list as well). Thanks a lot, Heidi and Scott, for your final editing what is short, concise and very well done! There are two minor details only I would like to suggest - the one to be added, the other to be changed.
(1) On version 4 - final proposed draft, after the 2nd sub-title "Who we are", second para "Our members include ..."). The variety of our member ALSes exemplified by "ISOC chapters and consumer groups" seems rather limited and not very representative. In fact, we have many civil rights groups among our ALSes. Could we add them (2 words only ;-) in this enumeration? It would read: "Our members include more than 25 organisations working on Internet-focused issues, including Internet Society (ISOC) chapters, civil rights and consumer groups across Europe formed into individual At-Large Structures."
(2) The heading on the testimonials says "What others say about us" -- in fact, the people quoted (Christopher and Olivier) so far and the ones asked like Veroniqua, Vittorio, Rena etc. are not "others" or outsiders but members or people rather close to us. Could we therefore say "What members say about us" or if we want to put it a bit more neutral "What people say about us"?
Thanks again and kind regards, Wolf
Heidi Ullrich wrote Thu, 20 Aug 2009 11:10:
Dear All,
The final proposed draft of the EURALO flyer is now available for your review: https://st.icann.org/euralo/index.cgi?euralo_flyer. Scott Pinzon and I have tried to incorporate most of the comments received as well as develop text that achieves the aims and objectives of the flyer, and expresses the policy issues of most concern to EURALO, yet remains within a reasonable word limit as set out by the dimensions of the flyer.
As agreed during this week's EURALO call, please could you add your comments to the wiki by the end of the day on Friday, 21 August?
Kind regards, Heidi
Heidi Ullrich Manager, At-Large Regional Affairs Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) Telephone: + 1 (310) 578 - 8647 Fax: +1 (310) 823 - 8649 Cell/Mobile: +1 (310) 437 - 3956
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