Hi all, With regard to Section 3 – Coordination with other efforts: as drafted it seems to me that if we have already identified a particular workstream then it might appear to the recipient that nothing further is required, whereas presumably we do want recipients to give feedback – is that correct? If so, I thought the following amendment or something similar might be in order: “We ask that you consider and clarify the extent to which the above-identified efforts, or any additional efforts within the community, should be considered by this PDP WG if there are additional efforts within the community that this PDP WG should consider during its deliberations.” Susan Payne Head of Legal Policy | Valideus Ltd E: susan.payne@valideus.com<mailto:susan.payne@valideus.com> D: +44 20 7421 8255 T: +44 20 7421 8299 M: +44 7971 661175 From: gnso-newgtld-wg-bounces@icann.org [mailto:gnso-newgtld-wg-bounces@icann.org] On Behalf Of Steve Chan Sent: 03 June 2016 06:28 To: gnso-newgtld-wg@icann.org Subject: [Gnso-newgtld-wg] - Draft Community Comment 1 Dear WG Members, As agreed on the WG’s call on 1 June, staff has attempted to incorporate the feedback received on the call, as well as attempting to “normalize” the text so that it’s written from a single voice. The starting point was an export of the draft contained in the Google Doc (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Gh8ugZAomD2AGNymmVRgKGP9TA2KQ7BkQbrRAEvs...) to a Word document, which was then redlined with proposed changes. I’ve also included a clean document for your ease of reading. In the interest of providing as much time as possible for WG members to consider this latest draft ahead of the next WG call on Monday, 6 June, staff and the co-chairs agreed to share this document without a full review by the co-chairs, though limited discussion was held to discuss the expected changes. As a result, the co-chairs may contribute to suggested changes on the list, alongside WG members. As a reminder, the intent is for WG members to suggest edits on the list ahead of the 6 June meeting, come to agreement on a final version at the conclusion of that meeting, and send to the SO/AC/SG/Cs shortly thereafter. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns. Best, Steve Steven Chan Sr. Policy Manager ICANN 12025 Waterfront Drive, Suite 300 Los Angeles, CA 90094-2536 steve.chan@icann.org<mailto:steve.chan@icann.org> direct: +1.310.301.3886 mobile: +1.310.339.4410 tel: +1.310.301.5800 fax: +1.310.823.8649 Find out more about the GNSO by taking our interactive courses<applewebdata://310CAD3E-E244-4690-A938-C2655DD44BDE/learn.icann.org/courses/gnso> and visiting the GNSO Newcomer pages<http://gnso.icann.org/sites/gnso.icann.org/files/gnso/presentations/policy-e...>. Follow @GNSO on Twitter: https://twitter.com/ICANN_GNSO Follow the GNSO on Facebook: https://twitter.com/ICANN_GNSO http://gnso.icann.org/en/