#1
purpose of gTLD registration data is to provide information
provide seems to be the wrong word, although I'm unsure if store/manage/maintain/record/define are any better
about the lifecycle of a domain name (as specified by ICANN’s Diagram of gTLD Lifecycle) to enable management of a domain name registration.
I'm struggling with "to enable management of a domain name registration" maybe "enable" should be "assist with" #2
purpose of a system to collect, maintain, and provide access to gTLD Registration Data (hereafter referred to as “the RDS”) is to provide information that is
^ we've already defined it as a systems to "collect, maintain and provide" so the extra "provide" here should probably be "handle" or "manage"
needed by authorized parties to operate a generic top-level domain name in the DNS.
^ RDS isn't needed to operate a domain in the DNS perhaps "to operate a generic top-level domain name in the DNS." should just be "regarding a gTLD" Rob