Dear All, I strongly suggest we avoid to make any perfection to the text. We just take what we have agreed . We engage in such a liberty to further improve the language in anstylic fashion we may have a situation to be faced with unintended consequences. I therefore humbly suggest not to make any improvement rather to detect any editorial and purely editorial amendment Regards Kavouss 2014-09-17 12:34 GMT+02:00 Manal Ismail <manal@tra.gov.eg>:
Many thanks Alissa and all who have contributed to this document ..
I'm sending my editorial remarks below following your suggestion ..
It's worth noting that I'm flexible to revert to the original language wherever deemed more appropriate ..
Page 1:
- 4th paragraph under 2. : replace capital 'M' of 'ICG Members' with small 'm' for consistency
- I've tried the url at the footnote and it did not work (might be my problem but worth someone else checking) ..
Page 2:
- 3rd paragraph under 3. : For cases for which where it has been previously agreed that a decision is to be made at a given meeting and one or more members are not in a position to attend present at that meeting, these members may provide their views to the ICG in advance in order that those views be considered at the scheduled meeting for decision making. Should the decision made not meet the requirements views of those absent, there should be another attempt to find a suitable compromise. Absent members should be invited to provide the ICG with a written statement of their concerns for inclusion in the report /conclusions of the ICG.
- 4th paragraph under 3. : I suggest the deletion of this paragraph as, to me, it is completely redundant to paragraph 3 above .. if it was decided to remain, there's a missing full-stop at the end of the paragraph ..
I do not dare to suggest any changes on the following pages J ..
Hope you find the above straight forward non-substantial changes ..
Kind Regards
--Manal
*From:* internal-cg-bounces@icann.org [mailto: internal-cg-bounces@icann.org] *On Behalf Of *Alissa Cooper *Sent:* Wednesday, September 17, 2014 2:40 AM *To:* joseph alhadeff; internal-cg@icann.org *Subject:* Re: [Internal-cg] Consensus document - for discussion Sept 17
All,
Attached and in Dropbox are the versions we will use on the call on Sept 17:
ICG Guidelines for the Decision Making-v12-MU-ALC-JA-ALC.docx
ICG Guidelines for the Decision Making-v12-MU-ALC-JA-ALC-clean.docx
All of the changes since v12-MU-ALC are editorial (mostly typo fixes and white space deletions), except one: on page 1, I added the text suggested by Joe about public comment periods. The editorial fixes include the suggestions made by Joe, Wolf-Ulrich, Kavouss, and Milton (off-list).
If people spot further editorial issues prior to the call, please send them in email to the mailing list, rather than editing the document directly, and I will incorporate them prior to the call.
Thanks,
Alissa
On 9/16/14, 5:14 AM, "joseph alhadeff" <joseph.alhadeff@oracle.com> wrote:
Alissa, Colleagues:
The draft is acceptable as is - thanks for your work on editing... I have proposed a few non-substantive edits to improve understanding - for example use of public comment forum may be read not to include written comments, propose replacing forum with consultation, etc.
One possible addition might be a reaffirmation of our commitment to consultation which should be differentiated from our 7 day period for decisions... Possible language which could be added to making decisions could be:
ICG will make all reasonable efforts to enable member stakeholder communities to have appropriate time to consult with their members on issues on which the ICG will make substantive decisions. Where appropriate and practicable, public comment periods will also be provided .
Joe
On 9/16/2014 4:40 AM, Kavouss Arasteh wrote:
I am at another meeting
I have read your edited text which seems to cover most or almost every points.
Please let me to ck it again and come back to you
Kavouss
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