Hi - Just came across this in my drafts folder dated 8 November. Not sure if I sent it through. Emily ----------- Hi all Following up on Seth's editing job, and other comments, I have reviewed the text, and made some edits, which are tracked in the attached. I think this revised chapter is good, and should replace the one in the consolidated draft report. Best, Emily On 20 October 2011 14:08, Alice Jansen <alice.jansen@icann.org> wrote:

Many thanks, Sharon, for your prompt response. I have edited the report accordingly. The latest version is now available on the wiki: https://community.icann.org/display/whoisreviewprivate/Draft+report

Very best

Alice

From: "LEMON, Sharon" <sharon.lemon@soca.x.gsi.gov.uk> Date: Thu, 20 Oct 2011 05:14:54 -0700 To: Alice Jansen <alice.jansen@icann.org>, Kathy Kleiman < kathy@kathykleiman.com> Cc: 'Emily Taylor' <emily@emilytaylor.eu>, Sharon Lemon < sharonchallis@aol.com> Subject: RE: Scope__Defintiions_-_a_newly_expanded_chapter (2)(smr rev) (Repaired)

*NOT PROTECTIVELY MARKED * Alice,

Thank you, that is very thoughtful of you. I have no problems with Seth's changes to the Law Enforcement defintion . Emily worked on the other definitions, so will have a view on Seth's work on those.

Sharon

Sharon LEMON OBE Deputy Director Cyber and Forensics Serious and Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) 07768 290902 0207 855 2800

-----Original Message----- *From:* Alice Jansen [mailto:alice.jansen@icann.org<alice.jansen@icann.org>]

*Sent:* 20 October 2011 13:06 *To:* Kathy Kleiman *Cc:* 'Emily Taylor'; LEMON, Sharon; Sharon Lemon *Subject:* Re: Scope__Defintiions_-_a_newly_expanded_chapter (2)(smr rev) (Repaired)

Hello there,

I have posted Seth's edits on the wiki in the chapter section https://community.icann.org/display/whoisreviewprivate/Scope+Chapter. Seth seems to be proposing significant changes to Sharon's definition section. Hence I would rather have Sharon's greenlight/feedback before proceeding with the editing of the master document. Sharon, what are your views on Seth's amendments?

Thanks for your understanding,

Best

Alice

From: Kathy Kleiman <kathy@kathykleiman.com> Date: Wed, 19 Oct 2011 14:32:42 -0700 To: Seth M Reiss <seth.reiss@lex-ip.com> Cc: 'Emily Taylor' <emily@emilytaylor.eu>, "'LEMON, Sharon'" < sharon.lemon@soca.x.gsi.gov.uk>, Sharon Lemon <sharonchallis@aol.com>, Alice Jansen <alice.jansen@icann.org> Subject: Re: Scope__Defintiions_-_a_newly_expanded_chapter (2)(smr rev) (Repaired)

Thanks Seth and safe travels! You worry about arriving safely, and we'll worry about pulling all your good work into the report. Hope it's a good trip and thanks, Kathy :

OK, I am about to jump on my plane. I have about 36 hours of planes and airports ahead of me – I wonder if this might be an ICANN record?****

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I think I addressed Emily’s concerns, which I thought were good ones. I am not sure how to integrate this or post it to the private WIKI so if it’s appropriate to post, perhaps one of you could do that for me.****

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See you in Dakar.****

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*Seth M. Reiss*

Seth M. Reiss, AAL, ALLLC****

*dba** **Le**x**-IP.com***

Intellectual Property & Internet Law****

3770 Lurline Drive | Honolulu, HI 96816**

(: 808.521.7080 | 7: 808.675.5805 | *: *seth.reiss@lex-ip.com* | website: www.lex-ip.com****

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*From:* Emily Taylor [mailto:emily@emilytaylor.eu <emily@emilytaylor.eu>] *Sent:* Sunday, October 16, 2011 9:58 PM *To:* Seth M Reiss *Cc:* LEMON, Sharon; sharonchallis@aol.com; Kathy Kleiman *Subject:* Re: Scope__Defintiions_-_a_newly_expanded_chapter (2)(smr rev) (Repaired)****

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Hi all

Thanks Seth - I think this section is taking shape.

Two general points:

1. We need somewhere a link (to an annex? or something) which explains that we consulted on the definitions, got feedback, and took it into account - these are the product of our own discussions and community input.

2. Acknowledge SSAC as the source of those final definitions. Either delete the acronyms, or else say that we found the concepts useful but the terms not so much - because they are so similar to one another. So, in the report we talk about the protocol, the service and the whois data. I had an offiline with Jim Galvin about this, and he fully understood that the definition labels (if I can put it like that) were not that helpful. It doesn't detract from the fact that the descriptions are good.

Kind regards

Emily

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On 17 October 2011 01:55, Seth M Reiss <seth.reiss@lex-ip.com> wrote:****

OK, here I go trying to step on toes. Let me know if it hurts J. ****

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Instead of reworking the definitions in Sharon’s original section, I worked on Kathy’s rework of Sharon’s section and added in the definitions that I think Wilfried may have developed from the SSAC report.****

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I noted a discrepancy in the definition of consumer from Sharon’s to Kathy’s draft. Not sure if I am missing something here.****

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Hope this helps.****

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*Seth M. Reiss*****

Seth M. Reiss, AAL, ALLLC****

*dba** **Le**x**-IP.com*****

Intellectual Property & Internet Law****

3770 Lurline Drive | Honolulu, HI 96816****

(: 808.521.7080 | 7: 808.675.5805 | *: *seth.reiss@lex-ip.com* | website: www.lex-ip.com****

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76 Temple Road, Oxford OX4 2EZ UK t: +44 (0)1865 582 811 • m: +44 (0)7540 049 322 emily@emilytaylor.eu

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Emily Taylor Consultancy Limited is a company registered in England and Wales No. 730471. VAT No. 114487713.****

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