Hi all, The updated clean PDF is attached, which incorporates the comments to date from Heather, Kerry-Ann, and Russ. If there are no other comments over the weekend this version will go to the Board on Monday. Have a great weekend everyone. Best, Jennifer -- Jennifer Bryce Project Manager, Review Support and Accountability Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) Skype: jennifer.bryce.icann Email: jennifer.bryce@icann.org From: Heather Flanagan <hlf@sphericalcowconsulting.com> Date: Friday, 22 January 2021 at 12:09 To: Jennifer Bryce <jennifer.bryce@icann.org>, Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com>, "Barrett, Kerry-Ann" <KABarrett@oas.org> Cc: ICANN SSR2 <ssr2-review@icann.org> Subject: RE: [Ssr2-review] [Ext] Re: For Review: SSR2 Final Report HI Kerry-Ann, Thank you for the thorough review! I agree that I somehow missed the legacy language in 8, 10, and 13. I do think that the extended context around that language in 9 and 15 suggests they should be left as they are. Heather Flanagan — Translator of Geek to Human https://sphericalcowconsulting.com [sphericalcowconsulting.com]<https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/sphericalcowconsulting.com__;!!PtGJab4!vS...> On Jan 22, 2021, 8:27 AM -0800, Barrett, Kerry-Ann <KABarrett@oas.org>, wrote: Dear Jen Copied in Heather just to check on something. Recs. 8.1, 9, 10, 13 and 15 – still have the legacy language similar to ‘This recommendation requires action from ICANN Board and ICANN Org.’ Aside from those we can do a last scan but I picked up on those. Thanks [Image removed by sender. OAS.org][oas.org]<https://urldefense.com/v3/__http:/www.oas.org/__;!!PtGJab4!vSP0wwzus43qfxL7y...> Sincerely Kerry-Ann Barrett Cybersecurity Program Officer Secretariat of the Inter-American Committee against Terrorism (CICTE) Secretariat for Multidimensional Security (SMS) Organization of American States 1889 F Street NW Washington D.C. 20006 [cid:~WRD0003.jpg] (202) 370 4675 - [cid:~WRD0003.jpg] (202) 458 3857 www.oas.org/cyber [oas.org]<https://urldefense.com/v3/__http:/www.oas.org/cyber__;!!PtGJab4!vSP0wwzus43q...> @KerryOAS [twitter.com]<https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/twitter.com/KerryOAS__;!!PtGJab4!vSP0wwzus43qfxL7ycJwtZi8FJl9oT3gW8Ua34lJGjUJir0i8CV6doEKOVXQZlWQRE0jWQsDqg$>| @OEA_Cyber [twitter.com]<https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/twitter.com/OEA_Cyber__;!!PtGJab4!vSP0wwz...> Register to our distribution list here! [oas.us11.list-manage.com]<https://urldefense.com/v3/__http:/oas.us11.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=353ff...> From: Ssr2-review [mailto:ssr2-review-bounces@icann.org] On Behalf Of Jennifer Bryce Sent: Wednesday, January 20, 2021 6:10 PM To: Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com> Cc: ICANN SSR2 <ssr2-review@icann.org> Subject: Re: [Ssr2-review] [Ext] Re: For Review: SSR2 Final Report CAUTION: EXTERNAL SENDER Hi Russ, Thanks for the review and revised wording. I’ll incorporate this adjustment unless other RT members comment. Regarding your questions: 1) Regarding "Emergency Back-end Registry Operator (EBERO)", should it be Back-End to match the capitalization in the acronym? – Comms pointed me to this page, which is the usage they are following: https://www.icann.org/resources/pages/ebero-2013-04-02-en [icann.org]<https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/www.icann.org/resources/pages/ebero-2013-...> 2) Will Table 1 be scaled down to fit the page width? See p19 for how it looks in PDF format. Best, Jennifer -- Jennifer Bryce Project Manager, Review Support and Accountability Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) Skype: jennifer.bryce.icann Email: jennifer.bryce@icann.org<mailto:jennifer.bryce@icann.org> From: Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com<mailto:housley@vigilsec.com>> Date: Wednesday, 20 January 2021 at 12:27 To: Jennifer Bryce <jennifer.bryce@icann.org<mailto:jennifer.bryce@icann.org>> Cc: ICANN SSR2 <ssr2-review@icann.org<mailto:ssr2-review@icann.org>> Subject: [Ext] Re: [Ssr2-review] For Review: SSR2 Final Report I reviewed the redlines. Something is wrong with the wording starting on page 52 for two or three pages. In the attachment, I offer corrections. I also have two questions: 1) Regarding "Emergency Back-end Registry Operator (EBERO)", should it be Back-End to match the capitalization in the acronym? 2) Will Table 1 be scaled down to fit the page width? Russ On Jan 20, 2021, at 2:46 PM, Jennifer Bryce <jennifer.bryce@icann.org<mailto:jennifer.bryce@icann.org>> wrote: Dear SSR2 Review Team members, For your review by 17:00 UTC on Friday 22 January: Attached, please find the final report in the template. This version incorporates edits from the comms proofing. You can see the changes in the redline version attached. Please let me know if you see anything that hasn’t translated to the template properly, or anything amiss in the proofing. After the Friday deadline I will work with Russ to get the report submitted to the Board. Thanks in advance for taking the time to review this final, proofed version. FYI – the final report will be translated into the 5 UN languages. I’ll share these with the team once they are available. Best, Jennifer -- Jennifer Bryce Project Manager, Review Support and Accountability Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN)

Thanks Heather. Agreed I was on the fence with the the latter ones as you said they had further qualifiers for what success looked like. We have crossed the finish line Cheers Kerry-Ann

On Jan 22, 2021, at 9:45 PM, Heather Flanagan <hlf@sphericalcowconsulting.com> wrote:

 HI Kerry-Ann,

Thank you for the thorough review! I agree that I somehow missed the legacy language in 8, 10, and 13. I do think that the extended context around that language in 9 and 15 suggests they should be left as they are.

Heather Flanagan — Translator of Geek to Human https://sphericalcowconsulting.com

...

On Jan 22, 2021, 8:27 AM -0800, Barrett, Kerry-Ann <KABarrett@oas.org>, wrote: Dear Jen

Copied in Heather just to check on something. Recs. 8.1, 9, 10, 13 and 15 – still have the legacy language similar to ‘This recommendation requires action from ICANN Board and ICANN Org.’

Aside from those we can do a last scan but I picked up on those.

Thanks

Sincerely

Kerry-Ann Barrett Cybersecurity Program Officer Secretariat of the Inter-American Committee against Terrorism (CICTE) Secretariat for Multidimensional Security (SMS) Organization of American States 1889 F Street NW Washington D.C. 20006 (202) 370 4675 - (202) 458 3857 www.oas.org/cyber @KerryOAS| @OEA_Cyber

Register to our distribution list here!

From: Ssr2-review [mailto:ssr2-review-bounces@icann.org] On Behalf Of Jennifer Bryce Sent: Wednesday, January 20, 2021 6:10 PM To: Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com> Cc: ICANN SSR2 <ssr2-review@icann.org> Subject: Re: [Ssr2-review] [Ext] Re: For Review: SSR2 Final Report

CAUTION: EXTERNAL SENDER

Hi Russ,

Thanks for the review and revised wording. I’ll incorporate this adjustment unless other RT members comment. Regarding your questions:

1) Regarding "Emergency Back-end Registry Operator (EBERO)", should it be Back-End to match the capitalization in the acronym? – Comms pointed me to this page, which is the usage they are following: https://www.icann.org/resources/pages/ebero-2013-04-02-en

2) Will Table 1 be scaled down to fit the page width? See p19 for how it looks in PDF format.

Best,

Jennifer

--

Jennifer Bryce

Project Manager, Review Support and Accountability

Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN)

Skype: jennifer.bryce.icann

Email: jennifer.bryce@icann.org

From: Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com> Date: Wednesday, 20 January 2021 at 12:27 To: Jennifer Bryce <jennifer.bryce@icann.org> Cc: ICANN SSR2 <ssr2-review@icann.org> Subject: [Ext] Re: [Ssr2-review] For Review: SSR2 Final Report

I reviewed the redlines. Something is wrong with the wording starting on page 52 for two or three pages. In the attachment, I offer corrections.

I also have two questions:

1) Regarding "Emergency Back-end Registry Operator (EBERO)", should it be Back-End to match the capitalization in the acronym?

2) Will Table 1 be scaled down to fit the page width?

Russ

On Jan 20, 2021, at 2:46 PM, Jennifer Bryce <jennifer.bryce@icann.org> wrote:

Dear SSR2 Review Team members,

For your review by 17:00 UTC on Friday 22 January:

Attached, please find the final report in the template. This version incorporates edits from the comms proofing. You can see the changes in the redline version attached. Please let me know if you see anything that hasn’t translated to the template properly, or anything amiss in the proofing.

After the Friday deadline I will work with Russ to get the report submitted to the Board. Thanks in advance for taking the time to review this final, proofed version.

FYI – the final report will be translated into the 5 UN languages. I’ll share these with the team once they are available.

Best,

Jennifer

--

Jennifer Bryce

Project Manager, Review Support and Accountability

Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN)

<SSR2 Final Draft - Final Consensus Call_tracked changes_22jan21.docx> _______________________________________________ Ssr2-review mailing list Ssr2-review@icann.org https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/ssr2-review

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