Just read it. My thoughts/feedback: * It's good. Much clearer. Logically laid out * Good effort made to write in clean language Questions: * Who exactly is this for? The report says it has two audiences: ICANN community (quick access to recommendations) and non-ICANN community (broader audience) * I would argue you can't have a report that adequately covers both * Currently, I think it starts out with a broader audience in mind, but quickly becomes increasingly focused on the ICANN community Thoughts: * This report is great for a specific group of people: those who are very interested in the process and all the detail but are not in the 50 or so people that have been following this topic very closely. In other words, I think this report is great for the roughly 200-400 people who are largely ICANN insiders but haven't had time to follow everything * I think you need a report for the 2,000 to 5,000 people who are going to be really interested in the IANA transition and who *may consider sending in their feedback* on the process and in particular this accountability component. * I think such a second report could have a breakaway Executive Summary that could then be used to update anyone and everyone Feedback: * There has clearly been an effort to develop clear and plain language, but as the report progresses, it gets lost in jargon and phrases that have become very familiar to the working group but which act as a barrier to everyone else * The report could do with a sub-editor/copy editor going over it and removing extraneous wording, boiling it down a little * The level of detail can be overwhelming. If you feel it is necessary to keep in all the detail, then perhaps include mini-summaries for each main section to help guide people through it Hope this is helpful. Let me know if I can be of assistance Kieren On Mon, Nov 9, 2015 at 1:42 PM, Bernard Turcotte <turcotte.bernard@gmail.com
wrote:
All,
Please find attached the first full draft of the executive summary which will be discussed on the call tomorrow.
Apologies for the delay in getting this out but people have been working almost around the clock.
Bernard Turcotte Staff Support
for the co-chairs.
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