I think the additional efforts by Lesley and Becky are good, and offer some further marked up enhancements to the text in the attached... Whilst I don't want to diminish the strength of feeling in the letter, it still read a little too emotionally for me, so I think the attached helps to remedy that. Cheers Keith On 19/10/2013 7:51 a.m., Burr, Becky wrote:
Hello -
I've added some suggestions on top of Lesley's.
B
J. Beckwith Burr
*Neustar, Inc. /* Deputy General Counsel and Chief Privacy Officer
1775 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20006
Office: + 1.202.533.2932 Mobile: +1.202.352.6367 / becky.burr@neustar.biz <mailto:becky.burr@neustar.biz> / www.neustar.biz
From: Lesley Cowley <lesley@nominet.org.uk <mailto:lesley@nominet.org.uk>> Date: Friday, October 18, 2013 7:43 AM To: Roelof Meijer <Roelof.Meijer@sidn.nl <mailto:Roelof.Meijer@sidn.nl>> Cc: "'ccnso-council@icann.org <mailto:'ccnso-council@icann.org>'" <ccnso-council@icann.org <mailto:ccnso-council@icann.org>>, "'ccnso-sopcommittee@icann.org <mailto:'ccnso-sopcommittee@icann.org>'" <ccnso-sopcommittee@icann.org <mailto:ccnso-sopcommittee@icann.org>> Subject: Re: [ccnso-council] RE: Draft Letter SOP WG -Crocker&Chehade oct2013
Hi,
I support the letter and the comments made thus far. However, on reading it afresh this morning, I think there is a bit of a risk that the more we add, the less impactful it becomes.
I suggest that the ending could do with strengthening – it kind of feels to me as though it tails off. Suggest something like the attached (and I have re-ordered the final paragraphs and corrected typos).
Kind regards,
Lesley
Lesley Cowley, OBE CEO Nominet Minerva House Edmund Halley Road Oxford Science Park Oxford, OX4 4DQ UK
Tel: +44-(0)-1865-332211 http://www.nominet.org.uk/ Twitter: @lesleycowley
From: Byron Holland <byron.holland@cira.ca <mailto:byron.holland@cira.ca>> Date: Thursday, 17 October 2013 21:34 To: Roelof Meijer <roelof.meijer@sidn.nl <mailto:roelof.meijer@sidn.nl>>, "'ccnso-sopcommittee@icann.org <mailto:'ccnso-sopcommittee@icann.org>'" <ccnso-sopcommittee@icann.org <mailto:ccnso-sopcommittee@icann.org>> Cc: ccNSO Council <ccnso-council@icann.org <mailto:ccnso-council@icann.org>> Subject: [ccnso-council] RE: Draft Letter SOP WG -Crocker&Chehade oct2013
Hi Roelof
I think it is a letter that clearly gets the point across. Please see attached for some suggested changes that I believe help the flow of the note
See you at the IGF.
Best regards,
Byron
*From:*owner-ccnso-council@icann.org <mailto:owner-ccnso-council@icann.org> [mailto:owner-ccnso-council@icann.org] *On Behalf Of *Roelof Meijer *Sent:* October-16-13 11:37 AM *To:* 'ccnso-sopcommittee@icann.org <mailto:'ccnso-sopcommittee@icann.org>' *Cc:* 'ccnso-council@icann.org <mailto:'ccnso-council@icann.org>' *Subject:* [ccnso-council] Draft Letter SOP WG -Crocker&Chehade oct2013
Dear Collegues,
As a follow-up on our previous exchange and my correspondence to Xavier Calvez, please receive herewith the draft of the letter I would like tos end to Steve Crocker and Fadi Chehade re the lack of any reasonable responses and or actions to improve based on the comments the SOP has submitted over the years.
Please let me know if you have any comments or suggestions to change, if at all possible before the end of Friday
Best regards,
Roelof Meijer