Almost final Multi-Year GA/Summit Proposal
Attached please fine the final proposal, subject to final clean-up editing (and inclusion of the missing URL on the last page). Please forward any critical errors to me and Heidi. Note that this paper must be submitted to the Budget Public Comment prior to 23:59 UTC on Saturday, 30 April. Alan
Hi all I've said it before but not with such specificity. My recommendations: 1. Incorporate the key ideas in the "Proposal" section into the Executive Summary 2. Merge the "Background" and the "importance of Face to Face" meetings into a couple of paragraphs 3. Shorten the bullet pointed items in the "MultiYear Planning section" to key ideas only, present them after a short introduction 4. End with the conclusion and next steps, as is :) 3 pages MAX. (plus your graphic and annexes). At the moment we are competing with the bylaws for quantity. Maureen On Fri, Apr 29, 2016 at 6:46 PM, Alan Greenberg <alan.greenberg@mcgill.ca> wrote:
Attached please fine the final proposal, subject to final clean-up editing (and inclusion of the missing URL on the last page).
Please forward any critical errors to me and Heidi.
Note that this paper must be submitted to the Budget Public Comment prior to 23:59 UTC on Saturday, 30 April.
Alan
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Sometimes defining a problem statement in the beginning and giving it a solution followed by a backgrounder is a better way of understanding the request or needs. Its a unique approach but is the one that boards of many organizations prefer, its called getting to the point quickly. On Sat, Apr 30, 2016 at 2:02 PM, Maureen Hilyard <maureen.hilyard@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi all
I've said it before but not with such specificity. My recommendations:
1. Incorporate the key ideas in the "Proposal" section into the Executive Summary
2. Merge the "Background" and the "importance of Face to Face" meetings into a couple of paragraphs
3. Shorten the bullet pointed items in the "MultiYear Planning section" to key ideas only, present them after a short introduction
4. End with the conclusion and next steps, as is :)
3 pages MAX. (plus your graphic and annexes). At the moment we are competing with the bylaws for quantity.
Maureen
On Fri, Apr 29, 2016 at 6:46 PM, Alan Greenberg <alan.greenberg@mcgill.ca> wrote:
Attached please fine the final proposal, subject to final clean-up editing (and inclusion of the missing URL on the last page).
Please forward any critical errors to me and Heidi.
Note that this paper must be submitted to the Budget Public Comment prior to 23:59 UTC on Saturday, 30 April.
Alan
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-- Regards. -------------------------- Fouad Bajwa Public Policy Analyst Follow my Tweets: http://twitter.com/fouadbajwa My Blog: Internet's Governance: http://internetsgovernance.blogspot.com/
Yes - we are out of time so too late. What I hope is that, in future, any paper we prepare sticks to the suggestions made - exactly what is being asked is up front, arguments next, and conclusions that wraps it all up. Yes, we did need to argue our points, but best do it in the way that will be read by the people we want to convince. Holly On 30 Apr 2016, at 7:02 pm, Maureen Hilyard <maureen.hilyard@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi all
I've said it before but not with such specificity. My recommendations:
1. Incorporate the key ideas in the "Proposal" section into the Executive Summary
2. Merge the "Background" and the "importance of Face to Face" meetings into a couple of paragraphs
3. Shorten the bullet pointed items in the "MultiYear Planning section" to key ideas only, present them after a short introduction
4. End with the conclusion and next steps, as is :)
3 pages MAX. (plus your graphic and annexes). At the moment we are competing with the bylaws for quantity.
Maureen
On Fri, Apr 29, 2016 at 6:46 PM, Alan Greenberg <alan.greenberg@mcgill.ca> wrote: Attached please fine the final proposal, subject to final clean-up editing (and inclusion of the missing URL on the last page).
Please forward any critical errors to me and Heidi.
Note that this paper must be submitted to the Budget Public Comment prior to 23:59 UTC on Saturday, 30 April.
Alan
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At-Large Online: http://www.atlarge.icann.org ALAC Working Wiki: https://community.icann.org/display/atlarge/At-Large+Advisory+Committee+(ALA...)
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Thanks for the share, I recall that it was suggested to link this to the fact that this is also in sync with ICANN multi-year planning initiative; was that the intent for the last sentence in the executive summary? It may be good to make it more explicit than that. Can we run this through Rinalia to get comment in regards to the volume because I agree as well that 7 pages may be quite a lot. While recognising the volume of pages, I think if we must further shorten this, then item 2 may go completely, while items 3 and 4 can be collapsed into one as they are both trying to provide justification (Infact we may remove 3 and just leave item 4) That said, I have no strong opposition about the current status as it looks great and the board should be fine with it [1] but can be made better if indeed volume becomes a concern. Regards 1. Afterall the transition proposals are much more voluminous than this ;-) Sent from my LG G4 Kindly excuse brevity and typos On 30 Apr 2016 5:56 a.m., "Alan Greenberg" <alan.greenberg@mcgill.ca> wrote:
Attached please fine the final proposal, subject to final clean-up editing (and inclusion of the missing URL on the last page).
Please forward any critical errors to me and Heidi.
Note that this paper must be submitted to the Budget Public Comment prior to 23:59 UTC on Saturday, 30 April.
Alan
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At-Large Online: http://www.atlarge.icann.org ALAC Working Wiki: https://community.icann.org/display/atlarge/At-Large+Advisory+Committee+(ALA...)
I found the document to be very comprehensive and to the point. I recommend to keep it the way it is. My thanks to the group that put this together. -ed On Sat, Apr 30, 2016 at 12:56 AM Alan Greenberg <alan.greenberg@mcgill.ca> wrote:
Attached please fine the final proposal, subject to final clean-up editing (and inclusion of the missing URL on the last page).
Please forward any critical errors to me and Heidi.
Note that this paper must be submitted to the Budget Public Comment prior to 23:59 UTC on Saturday, 30 April.
Alan _______________________________________________ ALAC mailing list ALAC@atlarge-lists.icann.org https://atlarge-lists.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/alac
At-Large Online: http://www.atlarge.icann.org ALAC Working Wiki: https://community.icann.org/display/atlarge/At-Large+Advisory+Committee+(ALA...)
Hi, I agree that it is indeed comprehensive and to the point. However, after writing policy recommendations to the government for years, my experience keeping it brirf and right to the point is vital, for top officials are not dumb but their time is scarce. I don't know if that is the case for ICANN as well. Best regards, Kaili ----- Original Message ----- From: Eduardo Diaz To: Alan Greenberg ; ALAC Sent: Saturday, April 30, 2016 10:46 PM Subject: Re: [ALAC] Almost final Multi-Year GA/Summit Proposal I found the document to be very comprehensive and to the point. I recommend to keep it the way it is. My thanks to the group that put this together. -ed On Sat, Apr 30, 2016 at 12:56 AM Alan Greenberg <alan.greenberg@mcgill.ca> wrote: Attached please fine the final proposal, subject to final clean-up editing (and inclusion of the missing URL on the last page). Please forward any critical errors to me and Heidi. Note that this paper must be submitted to the Budget Public Comment prior to 23:59 UTC on Saturday, 30 April. Alan _______________________________________________ ALAC mailing list ALAC@atlarge-lists.icann.org https://atlarge-lists.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/alac At-Large Online: http://www.atlarge.icann.org ALAC Working Wiki: https://community.icann.org/display/atlarge/At-Large+Advisory+Committee+(ALA...) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _______________________________________________ ALAC mailing list ALAC@atlarge-lists.icann.org https://atlarge-lists.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/alac At-Large Online: http://www.atlarge.icann.org ALAC Working Wiki: https://community.icann.org/display/atlarge/At-Large+Advisory+Committee+(ALA...)
participants (7)
-
Alan Greenberg -
Eduardo Diaz -
Fouad Bajwa -
Holly Raiche -
Kan Kaili -
Maureen Hilyard -
Seun Ojedeji